Jeremy Clarkson Reviews the 135i

[crunk3]

http://driving.timesonline.co.uk/tol...cle3103294.ece

When I was growing up, and it wasn’t that long ago, we had electricity for only three days a week, we drove cars that wouldn’t start, we used rats to take away rubbish, and dead bodies, and a cup of tea was considered a luxury good. And now we spool forward 30 years to find that round where I live there are women with crisp shirts and nice hair who make a living by decorating other people’s Christmas trees. Don’t you find that amazing? That someone has persuaded a bank manager that there is a demand for such a thing, let alone such a volume of demand that it would overcome the extremely seasonal nature of the business? I can only presume that they charge £25,000 per tree. Mind you, £25,000 these days is nothing. I know someone who paid that for a pair of binoculars. And £25,000 for a gun is considered good value. In just 30 years, then, Britain has been transformed from the Old Kent Road into Mayfair, the Community Chest and the entire bank. And I was there when it all began. The year was 1982 and the place was Fulham. Specifically, Parsons Green, and, even more specifically, my local. The White Horse. When I started drinking there, it was a painter and decorator’s pub and everyone drank stout. If you’d have strolled in and asked for a vodka, your head would have been kicked in before they’d got the rust off the optics. But then along came the privatisation of British Telecom and all of a sudden everyone had £200. It was the start. The White Horse was given wooden blinds and leather sofas, and friends of mine started dropping in after a day at work with enough money in their pockets to buy a house. One, a chap called Johnny who had an earring and a Ford Capri, suddenly remembered he was the Earl of Dumfries. I think in my youth a City bonus was a chicken drumstick or some luxury crackers from Boots. But as Mrs Thatcher ran around privatising the water and the gas and the air, all of a sudden people starting getting enough each Christmas to buy an estate in Scotland. Or a small country in the Caribbean. They were great times. Exciting times. Times when you felt anything was possible and that all you needed to become a billionaire was an idea. Any idea would do. I started writing about cars for local newspapers. Another mate came up with wheelie-bin cosies. Others bought and sold houses. And as all these businesses flew, it had a profound effect on the cars we all drove. In the early days of the change, you couldn’t really go to the White Horse unless you had a Golf GTI. Preferably in Lhasa green with a splash of Val d’Isère mud up the side. There is no modern-day equivalent to this phenomenon. You lived in Fulham back then. You had one. It was that simple. But then, as the bonuses got bigger, people started upgrading to the BMW 323i. God, it was a good car. With its dainty pillars and uncomplicated styling, it was in many ways indistinguishable from a Ford Cortina. But unlike any Ford of the period, it started, it cost a bloody fortune and it went like stink. And because it was rear-wheel drive, something with which the GTI brigade was unfamiliar, it was ever so easy to crash. This not only gave you something exciting to talk about in what had now become known as the Sloaney Pony, but it also gave you the opportunity to replace it with a 325i, which was even better. This cost even more, but the amount of stuff it didn’t come with was astonishing. No, really. There was no radio and you had to wind the windows down by hand. It was just a light body and a big engine. And we all loved it more than we loved our genitals. Sadly, since then, the 3-series has grown into middle age. It’s become fatter and bigger and slower. Deep down, a modern 3-series is still balanced and wondrous, but the excitement, the fizz, the thrill of those early cars is gone. Buried under a ton and a half of technology and kit. Of course, because the 3-series became so enormous, BMW was able to launch the 1-series beneath it in the lineup. And that would have been fine but unfortunately it was styled by the same chap who did Corporal Jones’s butcher’s van in Dad’s Army. Even Queen Victoria would call it old-fashioned, with its sit-up-and-beg stance, its almost vertical windscreen and those idiotic swoops on the flanks. All of this would have been only mildly annoying if it was thrilling to drive and more spacious inside than an art gallery. But it isn’t. The boot is microscopic, the rear legroom is suitable only for people who haven’t been born yet and the big-selling diesel is about as much fun as herpes. If this car were a person, it would be Piers Morgan. Now, though, BMW has given its baby hatchback a boot to create what it calls the coupé, and frankly that looks like a recipe for even more calamity and disaster. Booted hatchbacks never work. You need only look at what happened when VW turned the Golf into the Jetta to know I’m right. And then you have only to look at the 1-series coupé to know I’m wrong. It is by no stretch of the imagination a pretty car. But neither is it offensive. Which means it has exactly the same non-styling-driven appeal of the early 1980s 323i. What’s more, the version I tested came with a big 3 litre twin-turbo six under the bonnet. That’s 306bhp, and that’s good too. Step inside and it gets better. You get the bare minimum of kit. Just a big, fat, chunky wheel, a snickety-snick six-speed manual box and, er, a rear-view mirror. I had hope in my heart as I set off; hope that, after 25 years, BMW was back in business making small, fast, simple sports saloons. It is. Initially the brakes feel too sharp, but after a mile or so you adapt your driving style to suit and then you can sit back and revel in the joy of it all. The ride is perfectly judged; firm but not so taut that it pops your eyes out on every cat’s-eye. And on a motorway it settles down to be nicely on the right side of comfortable. The seats are bang-on, as is the driving position. But it’s the engine that impresses most of all. It has one small turbo to spin up the instant you apply the power, and then a bigger one that trundles into life later to keep the power coming . . . in bigger and bigger lumps. This, and there’s no other way of saying it, is a great engine. A masterpiece. It doesn’t zing like the BMW straight-sixes of old but there’s so much muscle you don’t notice. Then you leave the motorway and the road gets twisty and it’s like settling into your favourite armchair. The steering, the feel, the way you can adjust your line through the bend with the throttle. There is no other car made today in this sector of the market that gets even close. If you love driving, this is up there in a class of one. Of course, a Mitsubishi Evo or a Subaru Impreza will grip more and slingshot you from bend to bend with more urgency, but if you prefer a more flowing style - less grip and more handling – then you would be better off with the little Beemer. Faults. Well, the rear legroom is a squeeze, and it’s not what you’d call cheap. With no extras at all it squeaks in at under £30,000, but add one or two bits and it’ll shoot up to £34,000. That’s a lot. Except, of course, it isn’t – not these days when people are spending that, and more, on family holidays and kitchens. The fact of the matter is this. The 135 coupé is the best car BMW makes. I have no hesitation at all, then, in giving this long-awaited return to form the rare accolade of five stars. Vital statistics Model BMW 135i Engine 2979cc, six cylinders Power 306bhp @ 5800rpm Torque 295 lb ft @ 1300rpm Transmission Six-speed manual Fuel 30.7mpg (combined cycle) CO2 220g/km Acceleration 0-62mph: 5.3sec Top speed 155mph Price £29,745 Verdict BMW’s finest

[///mugello]

My friend at BMW HQ is going to set me up with a test drive when it finally gets here.

Here is what one of her co-workers wrote up after driving one:

"The 1 Series takes a step back to the E36 3 series size and feel, (3 generations ago). It has a extremely powerful and responsive engine, if anything it's too much for the rear wheels and wheel base to handle, it slips and slides under heavy acceleration, the DSC and DTC keep it straight and true allowing just enough to kick out the rear to make you feel a hero but call time with electronics b4 you put it in a ditch. The closest feel I can related it to is a E46 M3 CSL. The chassis is very responsive and it can hold incredible corner speed. The suspension is compliant, but the car I rode had a sports package and the rear end had slightly to much compression damping, that made it skip over road imperfections. The front was compliant and struck a good balance between feedback and a smooth ride. The steering was direct and the car managed fast direction changes without the typical trade off of wandering on the hwy. There's almost zero body roll.

The size of the car is the most immediately striking aspect, it is compact, but both driver and passenger have plenty of room. The areas it loses out noticeably to a 3 series (Now the size of a 5 series 3 generations ago), is the rear passenger seats which seem very tight and the arm rest section between the two front seats. The cockpit is taken straight out of a current 3 and is easy to read and very user friendly. The truck space is good for a compact the claim that 2 bags of golf clubs fit, but I'd question that!

Overall the 135i is a rocket, a mini M3. If I was not a performance fan and wanted a safe, quality fast compact vehicle the 128i would exceed all my expectations, as long I didn't have 2 teenage boys who were into hockey, b/c of the tight rear seats and limited trunk space. The upgrade to 135i is only if you've always aspired to owning a super car like performance, no question it feels and is faster than a 335i b/c it shares the engine but considerably less weight. If you select to take off the driving aids, the 135i is a beast that will have you sideways in a heartbeat. Overkill maybe? It depends what stirs your soul. "

Hopefully I'll like the styling and the price. It would be nice for BMW to bring us back to quick and nimble cars. I miss my E36 M3...

[onaquest]

warm

fuzzy

feeling

[redhatpat]

I'm not quite sold on the new 1-series. The styling is too wierd, its looks too much like a squised 3-series which makes it look too tall. The pricing is too close to a 3-series. For the price of a loaded 135i, you can get last year's 335i, which I'd much rather have.

That quote from BMW hq sounds like a sales brochure.

The 1 Series takes a step back to the E36 3 series size and feel, (3 generations ago).

Actually 3 gens ago is the e30 (e92/90 -> e46 -> e36 -> e30), but whatever.

...if anything it's too much for the rear wheels and wheel base to handle, it slips and slides under heavy acceleration...

Here's a really crazy idea, maybe BMW could put a limited slip diff in there?

...the car managed fast direction changes without the typical trade off of wandering on the hwy. There's almost zero body roll....

Somehow I really doubt the driver was pushing the car very hard on public roads. A lot of sports cars will show "almost zero body roll" in street driving.

...no question it feels and is faster than a 335i b/c it shares the engine but considerably less weight.

Oh please, 200 lbs less than the e92s 3600 lbs is "considerable"?

My prediction: they'll sell just fine, but the used car prices will show the true value of the car. In a year or two, their prices will be down considerably, much like the M coupes. BMW is getting greedy and their prices reflect that.

[M635]

Though even though I'm a BMW fan. I'd so go for the VW Golf V R32. The 1 series seems okay, but I hate the hatchback. The coupe is really nice, and can't wait until they release the 2002Tii 1 series. it's going to be a 2.0L Turbocharged motor. But I think the front end is alright, still a bit better than the new 3 series, the rear on the other hand is very well put together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9rFQPg0kbk

Top Gear: BMW 130i vs. VW Golf V R32

[Masterdoofus]

i heard the 1 series Tii was a pet project by some tuner guys, and that its not really a gonna be a production car... and if bmws got the AWSOME twin turbo 3L why would they put a 2L single turbo in it? but its just sad that the M division isnt gonna make one. forgeting that the name has been used before, a M1 would be faster and handle better than a e46 m3.

[M635]

Well the M division can't make it an M. Because the name M1, has already been taken. M1 is a legendary car, you all know that, but they can't ruin is rep by make the 1 series a M1. And the M Roadsters and Coupes have already been taken, so there best decision is to go Tii. Its a perfect oppurtunity to bring that model back. The 1 series is small, seems pretty tight, hugs the road probably really good. A 2.0L Turbocharged is there best way to go for if they wanted to make a high performace car.

Also, I think 3.5L in the 1 series is just insane! The car is the same size as a GTI, no bigger than a Corolla LOL. I just love these big motors get stuffed into little cars. Like the Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG >.<

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB--S...eature=related

This video shows the Tii at the Japan motor show 2007. They talk with the project manager. They also see the new M3 sedan (which I think they should just throw it out, because the new 3er Sedan rear, are by most the ugliest thing I have ever seen. The front is alright. But if you want the new M3, go for the coupe )

[abicarsy]

it is a nice experience.

[jenifer.kaif]

I too agree with Wat you have said.They are one of the best.